Blizzard Lighting Goes Full Diva, Demands to Only be Called Blizzard

Blizzard Lighting Goes Full Diva, Demands to Only be Called Blizzard Cher, Madonna, Sting, Bono... what do they all have in common? They're incredibly pretentious. But they're allowed to be pretentious because they are the best. They're Icons.

In that vein, following explosive growth in the LED pro and entertainment lighting industry over the past eight years Blizzard Lighting announced a major change. With an ever-expanding product line including IRiS LED indoor and outdoor video wall panels, the company is thrusting itself into a new iconosphere and will now be known simply as Blizzard. Blizzard CEO and "chairman of the bored" Will Komassa made the announcement to the staff and assembled media throng from the deck of the above-ground pool at his vacation home in Fort Smith, Arkansas: "We've achieved so much as Blizzard Lighting, but we can't let anything hold us back. Blizzard is already a really long word with like, eight letters ... and two of them are Zs. By dropping 'Lighting,' which my staff tells me also has eight letters, we'll immediately become 50-percent more efficient. It's a move we simply have to make."

After having the "Lighting" portion of his lower-back tattoo laser removed -- and in step with his company's decision for a bold moniker change, Komassa said he will no longer answer to his birth name and will only respond when presented with the symbol shown below. The dimensions must be an exact match and drawn only with an English Vermilion shade Crayola Crayon, pulled brand new from the package then immediately melted by wood flame at precisely 200C (392F). When asked if this policy would limit his ability to conduct business or effectively communicate with anyone around him, the chairman formerly known as Will said: "No. I don't really like it when people talk to me, so I'm ok with it. Besides, Will.I.Am was already taken."

Blizzard's website and contact emails have been redirected to www.blizzardpro.com, but the previous site and email addresses will remain active for the time being.